Benefits of sensible future planning

* Free bicycles and public transport for all

* Free water tanks for all (No more private toilets)

* Melt down all plastic items to re-make into wind and solar power energy plants

* Air Force to bomb all runways into small pieces then planes fly peacefully into the ocean

* Encourage patriotic kangaroo-eating and potato famines

* Import millions of authentic foreign migrants to simulate enriching overseas cultural holiday experience for Australians in suburban Australian backyards

* Electricity shortages promote literacy through reading of the Classics and old bean can labels, w. additional community-building aspects such as reading old bean can labels to shriveled neighbour (book-burning for warmth only)

* Australia becomes respected world leader in visionary environmental policy, corners the lucrative eco-tourism market (foreigners must hire kayaks / dinghies and paddle from Indonesia for visits)

* Australians who don’t agree with Apocalypse Now Party’s modest proposals are free to take voluntary “vacation” from their responsibility to our country. They can participate in a “permanent exchange program” with a range of sympathetic overseas governments such as Bangladesh, Tuvalu, Somalia, Atlantis. Opportunity to “life-swap” with authentic Majority World peasant, who is happy to fill your new revolutionary shoes while you have authentic “life-experience” for term of yr natural life

* Interim environmentally-friendly paramilitary force (on bicycles, w. organic pepper spray) to manage interesting transition period

* please email helpful revolutionary suggestions to apocalypsenowparty@gmail.com for posting on website. This Apocalypse needs all the patriotic contributors it can recruit.

_______________________________________

If you think Apocalypse Now Party is a confusing distasteful joke and not a genuine political movement, try to read to the end of a contemporary climate change book such as

Mark Lynas’ SIX DEGREES,

Gwynne Dyer’s CLIMATE WARS, or

Clive Hamilton’s REQUIEM FOR A SPECIES,

Once the swelling subsides, email your helpful revolutionary suggestions immediately to apocalypsenowparty@gmail.com for posting on website.

3 Responses to Benefits of sensible future planning

  1. Amazing. The clarity of thought in this tract is unparalleled. I am at a loss to describe how rejuvenating and uplifting it is to read a genuinely practical plan for Australia’s transition to the ‘Green Extreme’. If nothing else, the ANP proves how exciting and – moreover – plausible a world without cars, planes, plastic, excess food, industry, by products, make-up, advertising, rap and ‘privacy’ could really be.

    • Thank you Comrade Hawkins, you have properly digested our message! We only help you tell all your friends immediately. Would you consider becoming Assistant-Vice-Under-Secretary of the Apocalypse Now Party? All we would need is an airbrushed photograph of yourself against a plain blue background.

  2. Pingback: Our Modest Proposal: | Official Weblog of the Apocalypse Now Party (ALP)

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