* Free bicycles and public transport for all
* Free water tanks for all (No more private toilets)
* Melt down all plastic items to re-make into wind and solar power energy plants
* Air Force to bomb all runways into small pieces then planes fly peacefully into the ocean
* Encourage patriotic kangaroo-eating and potato famines
* Import millions of authentic foreign migrants to simulate enriching overseas cultural holiday experience for Australians in suburban Australian backyards
* Electricity shortages promote literacy through reading of the Classics and old bean can labels, w. additional community-building aspects such as reading old bean can labels to shriveled neighbour (book-burning for warmth only)
* Australia becomes respected world leader in visionary environmental policy, corners the lucrative eco-tourism market (foreigners must hire kayaks / dinghies and paddle from Indonesia for visits)
* Australians who don’t agree with Apocalypse Now Party’s modest proposals are free to take voluntary “vacation” from their responsibility to our country. They can participate in a “permanent exchange program” with a range of sympathetic overseas governments such as Bangladesh, Tuvalu, Somalia, Atlantis. Opportunity to “life-swap” with authentic Majority World peasant, who is happy to fill your new revolutionary shoes while you have authentic “life-experience” for term of yr natural life
* Interim environmentally-friendly paramilitary force (on bicycles, w. organic pepper spray) to manage interesting transition period
* please email helpful revolutionary suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org for posting on website. This Apocalypse needs all the patriotic contributors it can recruit.
If you think Apocalypse Now Party is a confusing distasteful joke and not a genuine political movement, try to read to the end of a contemporary climate change book such as
Mark Lynas’ SIX DEGREES,
Gwynne Dyer’s CLIMATE WARS, or
Clive Hamilton’s REQUIEM FOR A SPECIES,
Once the swelling subsides, email your helpful revolutionary suggestions immediately to email@example.com for posting on website.